yamanai ame da neeee

its all that matters
Monday, June 14, 2010

i'm feeling super proud of myself now.
i made it up mt k!
actually...... maybe i will go back one day?
for now, i need a break from treks, my body is screaming for me to stop and i better heed it before anything permanent happens..

mt kinabalu..... hmmm.
it was a challenge.
when the altitude hit me, i just wanted to sit down and not move.
when i reach the summit, i was honestly gna cry. as in really.
there were tears in my eyes. and yihui told me i shld cry if i wanted to hahah..
but i didn't la. didnt wanna embarrass myself..
the walk was soooo long.
it felt like it was never gna end?

i'm just glad i made it.
for now, i don't have much thoughts in my head.. im just so exhausted.
we trekked for almost 20 hours in 2 days. which is amazing.

ok, altho they don't read this.
but yihui shawna soon kiat sq, thank you :D
you guys really made it possible for me to reach the summit, cldn't have done it alone ever. altho i had no energy to be happy or excited when i reached the peak, i really am happy. i hope they know that.
go team mt k!!

this feels so surreal....... arghhh.
less than 2 days ago, at 6am (13/06/1020) , i was at the highest peak in south east asia. the highest a human could possibly go, and all of what is familiar to me was below me. friends were going on with their lives, family was peacefully in bed, for everyone else it was a normal day. but i was up there, 4095 metres above all of these.
and...
now i'm back home on my bed. i kinda wish i was back there?
oh well.

have i become a better person? have i grown stronger?
i've come back with more questions than when i left..
one thing i know is, the mind is really stronger than the body.
i always thought i can't even run 5km..
but, i've climbed 8.5km vertically with abt 8-9 kg of load, unbeknown to myself..
i know its different, but hmmmmmmm... ok.
hahahaha i dunno what im saying also la. but while i was passing all the signs that tells us how far we've walked, this thought came upon me.
and i realised, we really are stronger than we think.

11:17 PM

the spirit of trekking
Saturday, June 05, 2010

so, i'm back from stong. this time, i learnt so much i can't possibly put them all into words. the trek wasn't particularly tough or anything but it was the guide who made things so interesting. really had alot alot of fun :D

uncle adam got me thinking, what is the spirit of trekking?
somethings happened and he kinda gave us a little pep talk which made me feel super in awe of him. haha i shall type down what i learnt from what he said!

by coming to a trek we are putting ourselves outside our comfort zone, we have chosen to force ourselves to think outside the box. we are exposing ourselves to the new and unfamiliar. he said that he's doing this purely because he wants to share his knowledge (which, trust me, he has alot to share) of nature. i quote roughly 'i don't care about the politics between singapore and malaysia, when you come here to trek with me, we are all here to learn!'

when i came back from BCL i was very proud of our team cause we pushed ourselves so hard and all of us made it back safely. but after he talked to us, i kinda feel like pushing yourself isn't really the point of trekking? during the trek he kept saying, we go slowly and at your own pace. do not push yourself.
and i kept thinking, the whole point of trekking is to challenge yourself right? to overcome the limits and restraints that you have accumulated from past failures, from bitter experiences. i felt like i needed to prove to myself that, yes i am weak in some areas but it doesn't mean this has to apply to all areas of my life. i can do stuff that people choose not to and is unable to do....
but i think all along, i've gotten it all wrong. if i want to challenge myself physically, there is no need to travel all the way to a mountain to do so, the challenge of trekking is to learn to ENJOY NATURE. and everything she has to share with us. all her wonders, all her miracles.

the summit of a mountain is a motivation but it's not the goal.
the goal of trekking is to trek within your physical limits so you have time and energy to look back at your friends and laugh, sing, talk, tease each other, get to know each other better.
the goal is to trust the terrain and trust yourself so you don't have to keep looking at the ground and be afraid of what you might step on or be constantly wary about falling- leaving your eyes free to roam the forest and the sky.

in trekking, there's no need to think too much. just overcome all the small obstacles that come your way, little by little, we accumulate experience. when the big challenge comes- when its your turn to repel down the waterfall, or to make your way across a raging river- all the little successes that you have carefully and preciously garnered will help build your confidence to overcome it.

have i even mastered a little bit of what it means to be a trekker?
i don't know, but i'm learning.
when we were taking our last picture at the camp, a hawk and two rhinoceros hornbills flew past us. uncle adam and all the other guides were super excited, as were we. and we were all super amazed. the birds so so SO ravishingly beautiful. will never forget that moment, their bright colours, their ease in the sky. the land was spread out before us and everything was pristine.
i think this is the spirit of trekking.

mount kinabalu will mark the end of trekking season.
with rovers, i've climbed datuk 4 times, climbed lata berembum, endau rompin, gunung stong and berembun cemerong lansir.
these are all the little steps i have taken towards the real challenge.
lets hope it goes well.

6:49 PM